10 Quick Ways to Boost Your Charisma and Personal Magnetism

Charisma and personal magnetism are what draw others to you, make people interested in what you have to say, and help you to be a confident leader in all you do.  Unfortunately, there are many myths about what makes people charismatic. These misconceptions hold many of us back from feeling that we are charismatic (and therefore, projecting it to others).

The biggest myth is that charisma is about how you act—that you must be extroverted and a natural leader to have personal magnetism. This is not true. In reality, true charisma comes from inside and radiates out, drawing others to you, and making you more influential and persuasive.

No matter what your goal in life—from selling more to having your kids listen to your rules to commanding an audience when presenting—personal magnetism will help you get there.

Here are 10 quick ways to make yourself more compelling and charismatic:

1.      Be self-aware. We must first be aware of ourselves before we can control how we feel or the perception of others. Enhance your self-awareness by paying attention to how you think and feel in various situations. Recognize the thoughts that go through your mind and your reactions. Also be aware of your actions including your body language.

2.     Move to Boost Your Mood. A cheerful mood is contagious and one of the most powerful ways to increase your personal magnetism. The most reliable and fastest way to boost your mood is through exercise. Moderate exercise releases endorphins and other mood-enhancing neurotransmitters and neuromodulators. As a bonus, if you exercise outside, you get the benefits of being in nature and the cheer-inducing sunshine.

3.      Make it about others. Let’s face it, charisma isn’t really about us. It’s about how we make others feel. The best way to make others feel good is to be genuinely interested in learning about them. Ask questions. Get engaged in what others say.

4.      Show what you know. Knowledge is sexy. Don’t hold back on sharing your ideas. Have strong convictions. Show that you are a leader with a clear view of where you are going. Be clear on whether you’re expressing something as fact or as your opinion because you’ll lose credibility if you try to pass your opinions off as fact.

5.      Grooming isn’t just for dogs. Personal hygiene and grooming greatly impacts how you feel and how others see you. Dress your best. Invest in high quality fabrics and tailoring to be sure you convey the image you want and feel great. This sounds superficial, and it is, but that’s okay.

6.      Cultivate your empathy. Listening and conveying empathy boosts your personal magnetism. Empathy is actually one of the very most important aspects in how able you are to influence others. If people think that you don’t get them, they will resist your influence.

7.      Tell a great story. Nothing is more engaging than a wonderful story. Practice telling stories every chance you get—at meetings, at cocktail parties, with your significant other over dinner, to your children.

8.      Remember names. Everyone loves hearing their own name. Just don’t overdo it by saying their name in every sentence. Sales trainers often teach salespeople to say prospects and clients names. Then they say the names every sentence and it sounds very artificial.

9.      Practice gratitude. Being appreciative for what you have is a key to happiness and a cheerful disposition, both of which make you more attractive to others.

10.  Cultivate your humor. Everyone loves people who make them laugh. Learn your personal style for using humor and use it regularly. One way to learn humor is through observation—pay attention to funny people you know and on television.

Practice these ten tips and watch how much more quickly and easily you attract great people, opportunities, and success.

How charismatic are you? Take this charisma quotient quiz find out.

Comments

[Edward Brown]

Larina's analysis on charismatic traits within leaders definitely takes the high road. I would like to add what is viewed as the slightly darker side of charisma. I say dark, not from a real sense, but from a perceptual sense that many people might view it. For example, when studying charismatic personalities, I often find: energy, passion, vision and a relentless pursuit of a goal as well as a degree of insecurity. In this sense, "Insecurity" is the fuel for the charismatic's ambition. Many charismatics were "outcasts" from majority and exclusive groups as children. They often carry a mental recording of not being adequate by the dominant culture. Because charismatics are often extremely sensitive, these messages served as a catalyst for proving those voices wrong. The fulfillment of achievement is self-aggrandizing to the charismatic and trickles down to society reaping the benefits when the goal is positive. Rarely are the aims of charismatics purely altruistic. It stems from their need to be honored and respected. Charismatics don't necessarily view life any differently than most people on the surface, but their motivation and missionary zeal reconstructs reality in ways that viscerally tap into latent needs within others.

Edward Brown
Core Edge Image & Charisma Institute

[Larina Kase]

Hi Edward,

Thank you for this response, it is very interesting.

I wonder if these characteristics are most true for people on the high-end of the charismatic spectrum. I typically find that personality characterstics and motives such as these are most prominent on the extremes.

I think the analysis is different depending how you do it. The examples I give here are ways that typical folks, like myself and most of my clients, who may not see themselves as especially charismatic, can boost their likeability and magnetism (or may be even more charismatic then they think).

Whereas, your analysis of people who are highly charismatic takes a different approach, looking at people who are high on that characteristic and analyzing the commonalities. This, I would imagine, is where the dark side attributes, which you describe and I definitely agree with, would emerge.

I worry about charismatics driven by the motivations you mention because, as I describe in my book The Confident Leader, that is where the imposter syndrome and overcompensating are likely to set in.

Thanks for any additional thoughts based on your research and experience with charismatics!
Larina